~my fault~

We were friends,
we were so close,
we were always together,
I was never alone.


Everyday was fun,
I truly enjoyed being alive,
for everything that I wondered,
you always had an answer...

 
I was always together with you,
and we were so close,
it seemed natural to be with you all the time,
and I would've never thought...
of how you felt.


I'm sorry, I never meant it to end like that,
I'm sorry, I wont ever make the same mistake again,
I'm sorry... please forgive me.


Why did you tell me that?
Why did my 'kindness' hurt you?
I'm not that kind...
I was never kind...
I'm sorry for I have hurt you.

 
I never meant it to end like that,
we were friends,
we held hands,
and everything was natural,
and everything was real,
but only my feelings for you,
were not like it seemed.

 
I'm sorry I let you come so close,
I'll never hurt anyone like that I again,
and I promise even if I ever fall in love,
I will never tell,
it's my own punishment.
I'm sorry I accepted you,
and rejected you,
I realized I couldn't fall for you...
I'm sorry playing heartless game with you.

~cry alone~

Closing myself,
not allowing myself,
closing myself,
hurting myself.
 
The truth is I am weak,
all I do I act tough,
pretend that I am strong.
 
The truth is I want to cry my heart out,
I want to scream so loud,
but I tell myself 'I must be strong',
'I must be strong all the time'.
 
'Never show your weakness,
never ask for help,
never trust anyone',
I've lived this way 'til now.
 
I am so weak that I find myself pathetic,
I still want to cry,
but I cannot show that to anyone,
I cannot let anyone see my tears.
 
If there was someone who'd hug me,
and tell me it's alright,
if there was someone that would be by my side,
I wouldn't cry alone anymore,
It would've healed my scars,
It would've erased my pain,
It would've saved me from the dark.
But there is no one...
 
I cannot show my feelings,
I cannot be honest with myself,
because if I do, if I realize this feeling for you,
I would no longer be able continue acting tough,
I couldn't continue pretending that I'm strong.