~cry alone~

Closing myself,
not allowing myself,
closing myself,
hurting myself.
The truth is I am weak,
all I do I act tough,
pretend that I am strong.
The truth is I want to cry my heart out,
I want to scream so loud,
but I tell myself 'I must be strong',
'I must be strong all the time'.
'Never show your weakness,
never ask for help,
never trust anyone',
I've lived this way 'til now.
I am so weak that I find myself pathetic,
I still want to cry,
but I cannot show that to anyone,
I cannot let anyone see my tears.
If there was someone who'd hug me,
and tell me it's alright,
if there was someone that would be by my side,
I wouldn't cry alone anymore,
It would've healed my scars,
It would've erased my pain,
It would've saved me from the dark.
But there is no one...
I cannot show my feelings,
I cannot be honest with myself,
because if I do, if I realize this feeling for you,
I would no longer be able continue acting tough,
I couldn't continue pretending that I'm strong.

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